So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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