I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
