He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
