youre lurking in front of me
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize