do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
