i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
