THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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