He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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