Pappa wants mamma naked
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
