I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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