is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
