Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
