I heard we made out
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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