The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize