Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
