I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
