how can u be prego again
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
