Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
