You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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