Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
