haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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