True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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