I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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