i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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