Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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