Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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