arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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