Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize