Kiss
Puke
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
