If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize