I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
