Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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