He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
