i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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