There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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