Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
