i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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