Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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