My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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