I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
