did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
