all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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