Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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