I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
high people should be assigned attendants
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
