I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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