then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
