i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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