She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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