Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
