She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
