id be glad to
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize