I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
