are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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