I wish you could order shots online.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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