the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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