Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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