and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Randomize
