is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
she looked like the before picture.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
