jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
In America we eat man semen.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
