i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
