I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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