His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
