READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
